“You Cannot Save Another Person by Destroying Yourself”: Zeenat Aman Reflects on Her Turbulent Marriage
Veteran Bollywood icon Zeenat Aman, known as much for her trailblazing career as for her grace in navigating personal adversity, has offered a poignant look into her past. In a candid conversation on the podcast Between Us by Anamika, the actress opened up about her tumultuous marriage to the late actor-director Mazhar Khan, shedding light on the difficult lessons she learned about love, sacrifice, and self-preservation.
A Decision Rooted in Family
The couple, who married in 1985 and share two sons, Azaan and Zahaan, faced significant challenges throughout their life together. When asked about the circumstances surrounding their union—and whether the rumors of Khan’s intense pursuit were true—Aman offered a grounded perspective.
“Relationships are always more complicated than the version that eventually becomes gossip,” she stated. “When I married Mazhar, I was ready to become a mother… I believed marriage was the route to building a family, and I made my choice accordingly.”
The Lesson of Self-Abandonment
Despite the difficulties, Aman remained in the marriage for years, acting as a caretaker and fighting on her partner’s behalf. However, she eventually reached a breaking point, realizing that her devotion was coming at an unsustainable cost.
“It taught me about the difference between love and self-abandonment,” she shared. “I personally stayed because I had made a commitment, because we had children, and because I had hoped that things would change. Eventually, I understood that you cannot save another person by destroying yourself.”
While she acknowledged the pain of those years, she remained dignified regarding her late ex-husband, who passed away in 1998 due to kidney failure. “He’s the father of my children. I would not like to say anything derogatory about him.”
Redefining Boundaries and Love
Reflecting on the wisdom gained from heartbreak, the Qurbaani star emphasized that pain can be a powerful teacher. “Success could teach you confidence, but heartbreak teaches you boundaries. It teaches you that being loved is not enough if you’re not respected,” she noted.
Offering advice to younger generations, the actress warned against the societal pressure on women to be overly accommodating. She highlighted that a healthy relationship should never require one to diminish their own identity.
“A relationship should give you room to grow and not shrink you as a person,” she explained. “In my marriage, there was an element of being encouraged to disconnect from the outside world. It stops you from growing as an individual and an artist.” She urged women to evaluate their partners by asking: “Do you feel safe? Can you disagree? Can you have your own ambition, friends, and money? Most importantly, do you like the woman you become around that person?”
Looking Forward
When questioned about whether she is open to finding romantic love again, the actress expressed contentment with her current life. “I’m open to life, and I have a lot of love in my life along with my children,” she said.
As she enters a new chapter of her storied career, fans can look forward to seeing her on screen in the upcoming project Bun Maska, alongside industry stalwarts Shabana Azmi and Abhay Deol. Her reflection on these past experiences serves as a powerful reminder that while Zeenat Aman has graced the silver screen for decades, her greatest strength has always been her ability to reclaim her own narrative.
